“How ‘Bout Dem Apples?”

monopoly.JPG“What do you say?” she prompted her younger brother after I cut up an organic Gala apple for my nephew & handed it to him on a plate. She was hinting her sibling needed to exercise his manners.

I sliced a total of 4 apples since 4 kids asked for one. Quite chucklesome was the reply. The kindergartener’s mind was clearly elsewhere at the moment when what came out was an extremely skeptical, “What did YOU say?”

Earlier while my oldest nephew & I were playing Monopoly, we chose to operate by our own rules. For example, the sharp fourth grader who preferred calling money by its other name – moolah – chose to place a red hotel on two different properties he owned. Whatever floats your boat.

During one money exchange I gave him a one dollar tip rounding the $299 I owed him up to an even three hundred. “I’m giving you a $1 tip because you’re so handsome,” I quipped as we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

How was I to know I’d be 1-upped by my competition when the 9-year-old didn’t waste a split second before:

“I’ve been telling myself that for years.”

THE END

By Aunt Amy

3-11-19

“The Vibe”

bacon

“Which half, bottom, middle or top?” was my Dad’s inquiry after I asked him to fill my cup halfway with water, since he was at the sink & I was at the table.

Typical goofy Dad response. How many times have I heard that one? I chose the bottom.

That Saturday morn bacon & eggs were cooked for breakfast. I dine only on the latter & fall into the minority opinion on the other food item I despise.

Now, to a listening outsider, the following exchange would emit a vastly different vibe

like she was coldly trying to get rid of him when in fact she was more than happy that her husband was going to a gym he absolutely loved to swim laps

which is all the more reason why her Crisp & Snippety-Sounding shout at the end oozed with hilarity:

“Are you going to Lifetime?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Good!”

The End

By Daughter #3 on her friend’s 34th birthday

 

 

 

 

“Mediterranean Food”

“Guess who I am!” enthusiastically shouted my niece.

I knew right away by her dance moves. It was her turn in our game of Charades & the 8-year-old was silently imitating in our game his ‘Thriller’ music video choreography. It was either that or Jennifer Garner’s character in the film “13 Going On 30” & I knew my niece was unaware of that. 

“You’re Michael Jackson!”

Before Charades began, at one time we both happened to be in my room. Sometimes we watch AFV on Netflix for a laugh. This time was different.

The rib-tickling aspect of our interaction stemmed from the fact that identical to her Mother, the girl had a problem with the upcoming term too. Runs in the family, I suppose.

But unlike her Mom whose problem with the word is that she dislikes it so intensely that around her I substitute a different phrase entirely, my sweet little niece just plain had a problem even hearing the correct pronunciation to begin with.

“Do you want an orange lozenge?”

“Orange falafel?”

The End

By Aunt Amy, 11-21-18

“Oink”

Pop the Pig game.JPG

“Your Dad does a good Donald,” my cousin remarked as she read to her children a cartoon book about Donald Duck’s nephews Huey, Dewey & Louie.

“How do you remember that?!?!” I was impressed. She hadn’t heard him do that for probably 25 years! With her baby girl on her right side & her second son on the left, a captive audience listened to every page.

Before the book, the boy & I played. We competed in a game called “Pop the Pig” where you keep “feeding” the fat pig by pushing the head down until eventually the belt buckle bursts open from all the meals. He won both times.

“You are so smart & strong,” I told the 4-year-old.

I was happy my compliments were well-received. But that even is a colossal understatement because the boy soaked up every single drop of the encouraging words, as evidenced by his instant gung ho retort.

I could almost see the little guy’s chest puff up at the delivery of his proud declaration:

“I can even beat up my Dad!”

The End

By Amy on 2-26-19