“Outsmarted”

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So I purposely moved around the kitchen, avoiding glancing at the counter where my Mom was making scrumptious-to-the-nth-degree chocolate chip cookie dough in plain sight.

My thought was, if I pretend like I don’t see it or care to see it or talk about it, she’ll interpret that as indifference & – Voila!! – leave the silver bowl of cookie dough unattended to chill in the nearby fridge. Where I would, when she left the room, swoop in for the kill – my foolproof plan was to quickly jab a silver spoon in the bowl to snag me some o’ the good stuff. Delectable raw chocolate chip cookie dough.

I waited. And waited. Then, as expected, all was clear. So I opened the fridge & uncovered part of the foil over the silver bowl of homemade chocolate chip cookie dough. Man, there’s nothing that makes me happier than devouring on a big spoon a hefty hunk of chocolate dough!

Only problem was, when I stealthily made my move & stuck the spoon into the container to retrieve a scoopful, I failed to feel the thickening texture of the hard cookie dough under the foil. Unbeknownst to me, my equally clever Mom picked up on my unsaid idea & under my radar had slipped the cookie dough covered with foil safely in the fridge. Downstairs.

The soft mushy contents of the foil-covered silver bowl I opened up? Homemade lentil soup.

Mom 1.

Amy – A big ol’ fat goose egg.

 

THE END

By Amy

1-17-18

 

 

“20 Questions”

With a look of resignation, the boy returned the Star Wars

item to the shelf. Until it was discovered to be on sale. Then

he happily left Kohl’s with his new toy after leaving school

early for a dental visit. Then . . .

“I’m gonna get three-fifty,” my nephew announced after

mentally calculating the amount of money he’d get from

returning cans at Kroger. Brainpower continued . . .

“You just blew it!”

Because I asked him if the animal was a predator and earlier

I’d already asked if it ate other animals. He caught me.

No surprise there.

My 9-year-old nephew & I were playing the game “20 Questions”

& like always, the sharp youngster was on fire. (Turns out the

animal was a cheetah.)
Next came his turn where the boy had to guess something with wheels

(more specifically, I chose a standard kid-sized regular object with

wheels in his realm of knowledge). Inquiries posed included ‘Is it electronic?’;

‘Does it need fuel?’; & ‘Does it use batteries?’. More common things like cars,

buses & motorcycles he quickly ruled out. Unsurprisingly, the third grader arrived at

the answer after USING ONLY HALF of his allotted questions.

“Could it come in any size?”

“No.”

“That just saved me 3 questions,” stated the thorough thinker. “I could have

asked, ‘Is it big?’, ‘Is it medium?’, ‘Is it small?’”

So, Mr. Intellect has done it again.

“Is it a wagon?”

 BOOYAH!

The End

 

By Aunt Amy, 11-28-17

 

 

“Cloud Shmoud”

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“The crowd goes wild!” her eldest bro exclaimed while cheering on his younger sis of 1 as we played basketball with his hoop on his closet bedroom door. I was lifting up the featherweight so she could dunk the ball. She loved it!

Before that – “Awesome buddy, you are good!” the children’s fantastic mother raved after her youngest son informed her he won our games of Old Maid.

Did I intentionally allow the child on multiple occasions achieve victory in the card game?  (I’ll never tell, wink, wink.)

Later in his kitchen the youngest boy asked me after snatching it & retreating to my right, “Aunt Amy, do you know where your cane is?”

I had a good idea & seeing it proved my suspicion. “Hiding” the long metal stick behind him, maybe his 4-year-old thinking actually did believe it was out of my sight because it was out of his, too. “It’s behind your back.”

“It’s a magic trick!” he gleefully announced as his face broke into a humongous smile, totally disregarding my discovery, which of course was fine. Also . . .

“Come here, mama, it’s okay,” my sister welcomed her daughter – “mama” is a term of affection – into her arms following the girl’s nice nap.

Moreover, the second grader impressed me with his thorough knowledge of Biblical stories, starting with the story of Abraham.

I showed the 8-year-old a similarity. “See how this Old Maid card is named Ice Cream Ike? Ike is the nickname for Isaac, who was the first son of Abraham & his wife Sarah.”

It’s always good to end the day on an even lighter note.

Observed my 4-year-old nephew after he peered out of his large bedroom window following a rainfall & saw those funny cotton-candy-looking shapes floating high in the sky, bless his heart, he almost got it right:

“I think the clowns are coming out.”

THE END

By Aunt Amy (pictured below is me & the little guy a few years back)

10-16-17

 

 

 

 

 

 

Easy Come, Easy Go

Who’s laughing at me? I’m thinking maybe God is but I’m totally okay with that. I chuckle at myself too.

So last night after going to a party then coming home & posting on social media –

BOOM!!!!

– my left knee that I could feel weakening these last couple weeks, COMPLETELY collapsed on me without warning.

So now I can be found using my trusty walker to shuffle around, thankful for its assistance & the fact that I’ve found the best excuse to curl up & fulfill today my NEED TO READ.

Rolling with the punches is the way to go, I’ve found. Expect crisis, so when problems inevitably arrive instead of succumbing to hardships you’re ready to face issues both more productively & positively, & make the best of it.

Most of all on this day so far, Thanks To My Dad for stepping up to the plate – literally – & consequently kindly offering to make me a lunch of a crisp veggie burger, a generous portion of steamed broccoli, & of course starring the sautéed onions that we both can devour by the truckful! I love you, Dad 💛 12-23-17.JPG

“Bear Hug”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but I actually kinda miss him,” commented the eldest about his little brother. “My Dad said they’ll be home around 3-ish.”

“It’s after 3.” . . . So we continued playing until his Dad returned from a fun day deliberately doting on his youngest son, including a visit to a firehouse and his work, which ENORMOUSLY thrills the 4-year-old who loves to wear work clothes just like the Dad he so cherishes.

A lot went on while they were away too.

“I know Aunt Amy started it but still don’t do it!” the older sister, 6, advised the younger one after I’d playfully tossed a stuffed animal zebra her way – the munchkin had just used a toy orange gun in the family room to shoot me dead, after which she cackled loudly when I’d collapse dramatically and pretend to be a goner. The teeniest girl also spent time in the kitchen with the Mom she adores.

Always on the lookout to protect her offspring, my sis warned her youngest: “Don’t look directly at raw onions – you’ll cry, baby.”

Making homemade breading for chicken, my sister disclosed how her youngest son, out with Daddy, speaks. “’Chichen’ he calls it.”

“X-O! Maybe so!” the oldest girl shouted happily as she & her older bro played tic tac toe on the kitchen table. I taught my niece & nephew that they can actually use any sort of symbol besides “X” & “O” to play the game.

I’ll admit, at one point I did have major trouble in the bathroom. With the faucets. I was showing the one-year-old how to wash her hands with soap by spreading the soap all over your hands with different hand movements when suddenly I shrieked.

“Oh my gosh I can’t shut the water off!” The sink continued rising with water as I twisted both knobs to no avail. Thankfully my 8-year-old nephew answered my shouts for help & saved the day. Phew! How was I ever going to explain that one if the sink had overflowed creating a massive mess?

Upon the duo’s return, I asked the little guy his favorite part of his – deeply treasured & delightful – Day With Dad. Special times they were a brewin’: Before gushing about his second favorite activity of the day – buying a huge powerful action figure at Target – he casually replied as if I should’ve known the answer all along because it’s so obvious.

“Go to his wohk.”

By Aunt Amy

10-14-17

 

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