For Humor’s Sake, I’m dedicating this story to the person who flat-out told me they want no involvement in this whatsoever, despite giving valuable input on a minor title adjustment
“Do you have some junky old sweats I can wear?” I couldn’t help but become choked up while asking my kind older sister, after waving her inside from her backyard patio. “My bladder malfunctioned & I wet all over my underwear & shorts.”
The very second I rose to “pay my water bill” (a unique term that means “I have to use the bathroom” I learned years ago from my clever brother-in-law), I realized I’d already thoroughly soaked myself when right upon rising I felt a wet backside.
So my sweet & generous sister hesitated not for a moment to give me the clothes (pictured) to not only Wear, but KEEP.
Long story short, turns out the culprit of the leaky bladder was actually the soggy orange cushion which soaked me when I perched on the outside patio chair. (I didn’t realize the truth – that the rain-soaked cushion had pressed against my rear as I sat, therefore causing me upon standing to immediately albeit mistakenly blame my forever-flawed self for the EXTREME WETNESS – it’s happened before for real folks, & no doubt will sometime occur again, although there’s no need for any embarrassment since it happens to the BEST of us, & when I say BEST of us, I’m referring of course to ALL of us – until my other brother-in-law revealed the same thing nearly happened to him earlier that same evening.)
Relief infiltrated my being as the evening took a turn for the . . . cuddliest.
Fittingly, the night of my family gathering to celebrate my niece’s seventh birthday ended in me cradling her 2-month-old brother as he sighed happily while he slept in my arms. I soon exited the house, but not before promising my brother-in-law that I’d post a tale about this . . . odd event.
Upon returning home I didn’t know how to stand as my Mom snapped a photo on her cell of my new ill-fitting yet extremely comfortable cardigan & black-&-white printed stretchy pants.
“I feel like a bag lady.”