“If I Could Change My Life”

My life lost its plans when I was thirteen

And leukemia barged its way onto the scene.

If I could go back & have my way,

I’d erase in full my diagnosis day.

You don’t get to choose life’s direction: good, bad, happy, all messed.

But instead what’s thrown your way? Take & do your best.

How I would love to instantly eliminate

Things from my life, the list is great:

No cane, No health issues at all, No side effects holding me back,

Does anyone know I’m aware that a good life I lack?

Good would have meant no illness getting in my EVERY way,

So I could travel, be mobile, choose my duties each day.

I sit and I think and no pity parties are allowed,

For no one likes a pitiful presence in a crowd.

I’m a lot more bored than I would be if I could just even drive,

But hey, this is my drawn straw while I’m alive.

Though I’m done seeing my cancer doc, cancer effects I’ll always be warrin’,

Those who say “I wouldn’t change a thing about my life” – to me, that concept is foreign.

So don’t you dare tell me “it’s all good” – cuz it’s not.

Days drag out till the ending where I’ll love life a lot.

In the meantime, I’m not stupid, I know spiritual spins aren’t always the answer.

But I DO blame my life’s hardships not on God, but on cancer.

The End

By me last night on 7-25-17 amid “challenging” times

Thankfully my daily received Guideposts email today contained a quite relevant & most importantly, encouraging verse:

Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead! 1 Peter 1:6

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