“The Sender” Similarities – Beginning to Wind Down with Part 11

Page 217 says “Cancer had changed Charlie, and he was a better man for it.”

Hmmmm. Am I “better” after being changed from cancer? Certainly not physically, because both inside & outside of my body, physically I’m much worse. So I can’t live the way I want to AT ALL. That’s not changing me for the better.

I suppose the many lessons I learned in the cancer fight made me a wiser person, but I’d never be one to say “I wouldn’t change my life for anything” because OF COURSE I would.

  • Who wants to walk with a cane starting around age 19, Every Day For The Rest Of Their Life?
  • Who wants to live with their parents as an adult instead of starting an exciting new life full of challenge & adventure while you learn as you go?
  • Who wants to only have the abilities to drive a car for 3 years & then without warning just have to stop?
  • Who wants to never be able to smile – to another person, in a picture, because someone said something funny – Ever Again?
  • Who wants to suffer daily from both dry AND weakened eyesight as well as a dry mouth that’s now more susceptible to cavities due to its dried out condition?
  • Who wants a hugely lessened amount of energy to get through each day?
  • Who wants to deal forever with long-lasting negative effects All Throughout your body from unforgiving cancer treatment?
  • Who wants to try to carve out a place somewhere, anywhere, in this world after you’re left as a physically disabled cancer survivor struggling desperately, under ENORMOUS INDESCRIBABLE stress, to find a purposeful life in a world where you no longer fit?

Not me. But I have no choice.  

. . . Yet if I had a 9-5 typical job with a “regular” life, I wouldn’t have been able to spontaneously hop in my sister’s car on Tuesday after she called me, while I was at home in my sweats, in the middle of the day to spend time with her & my niece & nephew. So I am reminded that God does, in fact, know what He’s doing; I’d much rather be with them than behind some desk working. So my repeated imperative lesson here is to Never fret about your circumstances, but Keep Trusting your life to All-Knowing God. Always. No need to ever worry. It’s under His Perfect Control.

The second to last paragraph in the forty fifth chapter speaks to a bond between 2 cancer patients. Right on. Only other people also battling this ruthless killer understand the depths of what you are going through. As a young teen, my Mom & I used to pass other moms & their children we came to know in the huge hospital who were also fighting for their young lives against the hateful “C.” I remember telling another kid we saw a couple years into my leukemia diagnosis that I hated the annual pulmonary function tests we had to do. He agreed with a knowing look, fully understanding all the dreaded things that cancer fights made us endure.

Me as a young teen in the midst of my war against leukemia, under local anesthesia while getting a bone marrow aspirate in the Cancer Clinic – my lower back is riddled with countless scars from innumerable aspirates & biopsies in that room

 

 

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