“Car Chaos”

By Daughter #3

December 17, 2016

“We need landmarks people,” my Mom called out to my Dad & me. “Landmarks.”

“I cannot keep doin’ this, c’mon,” stated my understandably distressed Mom.

“Look at this place,” said my Mom a short while later. “We’re too far.”

“We’re not far enough,” countered my Dad as the 3 of us desperately searched for the condominium complex in Marco Island, Florida, we were staying at for 1 week before Christmas. Well, let me amend my previous statement. Armed (or maybe disarmed?) with poor eyesight coupled with a massive lack of interest & insight in driving directions, I was as helpful as a bump on a log. In a word, useless.

I did, however, join my Dad in deep hearty belly laughter as the 2 of us CRACKED UP TO THE CORE at the hilarity of our situation. The 3 of us – my Dad, Mom & myself – repeatedly circled back – during the teensy-weensy roughly half of a mile distance from where we left to return to our condo – probably a total of somewhere between 15 to 20 times because we were hopelessly lost out-of-towners unfamiliar with the area who couldn’t locate our weeklong residence.

“Make a U-Turn,” the electronic voice on the phone commanded us over & over – & over & over & over & over . . .

“I can’t breathe!” I managed to gasp as my Dad & I spurred each other on & kept our strong chuckling fits continuing each time we heard the other – using the following term only to emphasize the strength of our actions – “dying” with laughter. “My chest hurts from laughing so hard!”

“This will be a family legend!” I declared emphatically before being told to never ever mention our current experience to another soul.

At least twenty looooong highly embarrassing minutes later, we’d driven the same half-mile stretch of road so many times that by then even my Mom also laughed – really hard – at our ridiculous predicament. And ridiculous it was. Think about it: three intelligent adults couldn’t ban together to find their half-a-mile-away-from-where-they-were condo on the dark Florida evening.

Then, just as we FINALLY located our destination after

 miles & miles & miles of driving up and down the same

short expanse of road;

∴ questioning the accuracy of the cell phone’s GPS;

 asking a couple different guys for help;

 & finally “dying” from laughing so intensely that air was for a short time out of reach,

my sister texted to say she & her family were on their way to our condo to carpool to dinner. We had no time to get ready – my Dad wanted to shower after swimming in the pool but there was clearly no time for that now – so we rushed with a capital “R” (I changed from my wide-brimmed daytime purple hat to a smaller khaki-colored one) to meet them outside as quickly as we could.

Don’t ever mention this!”

And so I didn’t.

Till now. 😉

The End

Marco Island, Florida the week before Christmas 2016

Marco Island, Florida, the week before Christmas 2016



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