In the words of Stephanie Judith Tanner, on behalf of my growing up Nephew, “How Rude (Aunt Amy)!”

By Aunt Amy


“Oh my gosh! I’m burnin’ up,” exclaimed my nearly-in-sixth-grade nephew. “I’m takin’ off my shirt.”

“Boys can do that,” I, equally hot, replied. “Girls can’t.”

My oldest nephew of 11, the “burnin’ up” boy, was attempting to amaze his little brother of 7 with card tricks. Their little sister aka the youngest of the bunch, kept putting a sparkling sticker on the right side of her nose & telling me she had a nose ring. The three siblings’ Mom & other brother were in the Novi Walmart while we waited in the vehicle with the windows down.

The Tuesday was steamy hot & I relished the heat, savoring every second of summer sunshine till the seasons changed & brought cooler temps & shorter days.

Aunt Amy suggested playing “20 Questions,” which didn’t work out, so the 3 children & I began a game of “Simon Says.”

The youngest brother, an exceedingly smart little guy about to begin grade two, observed his aunt eating a gluten-free chocolate & nuts granola bar – & wasn’t pleased with the image that met his eyes.

Inevitably The Age of the intelligent children around me increases to the time where they recognize my unique health situation (most notably to them the fact that – due to facial paralysis as a side effect of cancer treatment – Aunt Amy eats with her mouth open), & how this observed behavior of mine doesn’t fit in with their early knowledge of what’s considered normal or polite in the modern world.

The almost second grader changed his initial directions playing the role of “Simon” & then followed that up with a command that told me he’s reached The Age:

The 7-year-old directed, “Simon says you don’t have to say anything embarrassing about yourself” & looking straight at me his next words tumbled off his tongue in the same breath

◊ without missing a beat


◊ smooth as butter 

“& please stop chewing with your mouth open.”

The End

P.S. And thanks for the fun day, sis!


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